February 6th - it caught me off gaurd again. 50 years old today. Crazy, isn't it? I can't really imagine you topping off half a century, honestly. I guess I always think of you as young. I can't imagine your black hair peppered with grays or your twinkling eyes framed by crow's feet.
I'm doing pretty well. Much has happened since last year. I graduated high school. It was crazy, honestly. I can't tell you how much that scared me! I guess I'm a lot like Peter Pan, refusing to grow up. (And yet, people always insist on my maturity. Psh.) Mom admires that about me - that I like to enjoy every time of my life. It just goes by so fast, you know? It was weird gradutating. Everyone was really excited. I mean, I was. But it just seemed a little overdone. Great. I finished high school. Now give me a real challenge. It just didn't seem worthy of all the pomp. It was, however, a satisfying feeling walking out of the school knowing I'd done what I could, that maybe I made it a little better for having been there. That was pretty nice.
I made it to college. Now, it's nothing fancy, but I'm really happy, Dad. I was walking past the soccer field out to my car the other day (I LOVE driving! It's so amazing. No worries, I'm a safe driver.) and I just realized how much God has blessed me over my time at the University. First, I have the most amazing support system ever. My close friends love God like I do. Instead of compromising my faith, they challenge it. I can't imagine ever living without them. I have mentors who deeply care about me, who look out for me and love me.
Also, I have so many great opportunities. I absolutely love being an English major. My heart belongs to literature, and those are my favorite classes. I got to be in Hamlet this semester. Dad, it was a dream come true, to act in a Shakespearean play - and as a freshman, no less! I'm also in the flute choir here. I get so much joy in playing. I love just sneaking back to one of the practice rooms and playing for hours at night.
Mom's handling it well that I'm gone. I don't get to go home much, but we keep in touch all the time. I know she misses you, but I've never seen her relationship with God stronger than it is now. Mary's doing really well, too. She's a remarkable person - one of those that will change the world some day. She's engaged! Mom and I couldn't be happier. He's a great guy, Dad. You'd approve 100%.
And me? Well, I'm alright. I have good times and bad times, but then again, who doesn't? I've made mistakes, Dad. I'm in no way perfect, which I've proven constantly throughout this year. But I'd like to think that through the work of God, I get some things right every now and then. Maybe, it's in the failures and the weaknesses that He is most glorified... and I am most easily used.
I think you'd be proud of me. I think you'd be happy about where I am and where I'm going. I think if you were still here, we'd be close. We'd talk about theology and politics and you'd give me huge hugs when I'd finally get to come home to visit. I miss you. I love you. I can't wait to walk with you in God's heavenly gardens and hear your voice mixed with mine in praise to our King.
Happy Birthday.
Love, Jessie
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